The Lists of PotC
by Valentine Vampire
Summary: Obsession lists, things you can learn from PotC, and more. Updated! Fourth chapter is up!
1. Obsession List 1

All apply to me but #33, believe it or not.

You're obsessed with PotC when…

You frequently walk like Jack Sparrow.

You are going to the third movie wearing everything PotC related you own. Cough A medallion, Jack Sparrow bracelet, locket, shirt from Disney World, PotC earrings Cough

You have an entire wall in your room dedicated to PotC.

You have a PotC themed room altogether.

You have a PotC desktop wallpaper.

You have all of the PotC soundtracks and listen to them daily.

You don't even listen to any other music.

You name your pets after PotC characters. Coughfish called The Kraken Cough

You end nearly every sentence with "savvy?"

You write PotC fanfics.

Your greatest work of art involves PotC.

You have saved every single ticket stub from your many viewings of the movies.

You carve PotC related pumpkins when Halloween comes around.

You are someone from PotC for Halloween.

You have a jar filled with dirt, in which you put a red balloon filled with sand, or a plastic heart.

When someone asks a question about PotC (even if it's complicated) you know the answer and take nearly an hour to explain.

Whenever you get very angry you say "where's that monkey? I want to shoot something!"

You find yourself sobbing every now and then, and realize it's because Jack is dead.

You own so much PotC merchandise you lost count.

You write in a PotC notebook at school.

The pages are filled with PotC quotes and drawings.

You are willing to destroy ever motorboat ever created and the supplies to make them, just so ships will be used once again.

You call your boat _The Black Pearl._

When you are bored, you start to write quotes from the movies on habit.

You are planning on being a sailor.

You buy anything pirate/sailor related you can possibly get.

When someone asks you what you want, you say "I know what I want, I know what I want, I KNOW WHAT I WANT!"

You do what I'm doing now, write PotC fanfics and quizzes while listening to the soundtracks.

You have a PotC ringtone.

You have a PotC cell phone wallpaper.

You tie junk to your wrists and/or hair.

You draw Jack's tattoo on your arm.

You actually GET a tattoo of Jack's tattoo.

You've tanned a P onto your arm.

You scream and get all excited when you see a PotC commercial.

You are furious when someone mocks PotC and plan on murdering them.

When the soda/juice/milk is gone you say "Why is the rum ALWAYS gone?"

At the beach, you insist that you have the Black Spot and won't go in the water, also refusing to show anyone your hand.

You refuse to go in the octopus exhibit at the aquarium.

If your parents actually get you to enter the exhibit, you don't even look at the octopus and say "EVIL" to yourself over and over.

Whenever you hear organ music, you scream at lunge for the off switch. If you can't get away from the music, you curl up in a ball and shake. (This does NOT count for the soundtrack music!)

When you find paprika, you shake it under your arms, saying "a little seasoning".

You have a fear of barnacles, sea anemones, and star fish.

You cringe in fear when you hear a heart beat in a movie.

You are determined to figure out how to play the Davy Jones song on your piano/keyboard.

At the fair you go in the fun houses just for the hamster wheel, where you pretend to swordfight.

You own more than one copy of the first and/or second DVD.

You've watched every bonus feature on both DVDs more than once.

You've memorized the bonus features.

You've watched the Pirate History bonus feature on the first DVD more than once.

You took notes during it.

You've memorized all of the pirate facts.

You have the original teaser poster from the first movie cut out of a magazine framed on your wall. (The one with the skeleton at a helm in the rain.)

You memorized both films and can recite them completely at any given moment.

You've memorized the third movie.

You've used a photoshop program to paste yourself in a scene from the movies.

You practice your character accents daily.

You tell people you are cursed when you are wearing your Aztec gold necklace.

You have the Aztec gold necklace.

You have the Davy Jones key.

You have one or more of Jack's rings.

You spent all of your birthday and Christmas money on PotC merchandise.

You say "good morning" and "good night" to your Jack/Will/Elizabeth poster(s).

You kiss your poster(s)

You have 3 or more PotC posters.

You've screencapped the DVDs.

You a have a PotC calendar.

You have a PotC journal.

You actually own an authentic compass.

You did something to it so it won't point north.

You're counting how many of these things you do.

You take (or want to) fencing.

You have a table in your room which has a globe, maps, navigation tools, compass, coins, and a bottle on it. You call it your Navigation Table.

You call your room 'The Captain's Quarters".

You buy PotC stuff even when you know you'll never use it.

You have treasure chests both large and small in your room.

You wear lots of rings just to be more like Jack.

You wear eyeliner just to look more like Jack.

You even read the children's PotC books.

You know which character you are most like from a personality quiz.

You aced every PotC knowledge quiz.

You make and take PotC polls, and get furious at every person who checks the boxes that say stuff like "No, I don't like PotC".

You make PotC fanvids.

When you went on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride you disobeyed the rules and used flash photography.

You rode it more than 5 times.

You had to keep yourself from screaming when you saw the first Jack animatronic.

You use Jack's vocabulary in daily conversation.

Your mom has actually told you to stop using these words so much.

You've gotten a friend and/or sibling to start speaking like Jack, as well.

You commandeered any kind of water vessel.

You've memorized "A Pirate's Life for Me".

You've memorized "Hoist the Colours".

You bought the DMC DVD the day it came out.

You saw DMC and AWE on the days they came out.

You saw the midnight showing of AWE.

You've held fire under a porcelain cup and rubbed the black stuff onto your hand to make a black spot.

You didn't stop doing it after the heat burnt you.

You refuse to believe anyone who says there won't be a fourth movie.

You hate everyone who says this.

You plan on killing them.

You know about every famous pirate.

You made a countdown for the days until AWE was released.

You relate everything to PotC.

You've lost count of how many times you've seen the first two films.

You've lost track of how many times you've seen AWE. O.0

You given lessons on how to walk and act like Jack.

You want to get married on a ship.

Your parents call you when Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom is on TV.

You've bought a kid's meal just for the PotC toy.

Your screename has something to do with PotC.

You've gotten yelled at while watching the movies because you constantly reciet the lines.

You and your best friend have made plans to buy a boat after you graduate and take up sailing.

You perk up every time you hear a PotC related word.

You've decided you hate every girl you see in the videos of the premieres on the DVDs because they got to hug Johnny or Orlando and you didn't even get to go.

You've done a school project about pirates.

You have seriously been scared to go into water because there might be a kraken in it.

You have a locket with Jack or Will's picture in it.

You know what scenes go with what songs.

You fall asleep thinking of PotC.

You enter the contests on the official PotC websites.

You were desperately hurt when you didn't win.

You call yourself obsessed.

You are not ashamed.

You make up an excuse to go to the mall so you can buy PotC merchandise.

You bought the special edition PotC MnM's.

You saved the wrapper.

You screamed at your mom for throwing the wrapper away.

You bought PotC Monopoly.

You bought the Pirate's Dice game.

You didn't need to read the directions to learn how to play it.

You've had very vivid PotC dreams.

You know your pirate name.

You feel like you are competing against other fans to be the most obsessed.

You save the tags from the PotC merchandise you bought because they have the logo on them.

You sabed your Magic Kingdom brochure because it has Jack Sparrow on it.

It's hanging on your wall.

You save rootbeer bottles.

You don't wear bandaids when you get cut because it makes you more piratey.

You use a treasure chest as a storage space for your money.

Your mom has tried to convince you not to buy certain PotC items.

It didn't work.

When your mom wouldn't go out and buy the DMC DVD the day it came out, you truly sobbed.

It convinced her to buy it.

You've said "sorry!" to your DVD case (or other PotC item) when your accidentally sat on it.

If you could only live on a ship and meet Johnny Depp you'd be the happiest person on earth.

If Jack Sparrow was real you'd be the happiest person in the universe.

John Silver is your favorite character in Treasure Island because he's the pirate.

Your ideal pet would be an undead monkey.

When you see vanilla soft serve ice cream you think of Commodore Norrington.

you make a necklace much like Will's in DMC.

Critics are your biggest enemies. How DARE they say DMC and AWE were horrible?!

You have 100+ PotC pictures on your computer.

200+

You buy things with skulls on them just because they look piratey.

You put together a pirate outfit.

You write lists like this.

Right now you're thinking "I'm not alone!!!!"

You're thinking of PotC at this very moment.

You have a quill and ink and use them regularly.

You've created your own pirate signature.

You print out maps of PotC related areas. The Caribbean, Jamaica, the Bahamas, Tortuga, Dominica, etc.

You are actually upset at one or more of your friends for saying they don't like PotC.

One of your dream vacations is to Dominica.

You know the names of the director, producer, writers, costume designer, and several other crew members.

You know where they filmed everything in DMC.

You've drawn several eyes on your face with makeup.

You are someday going to purchase a cutlass or pistol.

You counted how many of these things you've done.

You wanted to have done them all.

You made it this far.


	2. Things I've Learned from PotC

Things I've Learned from PotC

The rum is only gone when you're drunk.

Sea turtles were only put on this earth for one reason.

Everyone Elizabeth kisses dies one way or another.

You can pole vault without touching the pole. (Cannibal Island)

Peanuts play a huge role in a pirate's life.

Sea goddesses can be quite crabby.

Even magical crabs in Davy Jones' locker can end up upside-down.

Up is down.

The one with the longest telescope is captain.

The lead characters only die when fighting man to man.

When you become captain of _The Dutchman _you get a new set of clothes.

You can make a parachute out of sails, even if they have holes.

They had really cool guitars in the Golden Age of Piracy.

You can get dropped off on an island with nothing but your husband's heart in a chest and still have clothes for your son that hasn't even been born.

Jack has a really good throw and aim.

If you're cursed on _The Flying Dutchman_, your body can hear you when you've lost your head.

Jack would rather have rum than eternal youth.

Pirates aren't very creative.

Jack once knew a man named Larry.

Even women can be King.

The Aztec Gold Jack the Monkey removed from the Stone Chest after the credits of CotBP magically disappeared.

Midgets make great crew members.

Ragetti is quite the romantic.

Murtogg and Mullroy can change clothes really fast.

Someone could have just shot the heart. (Tell me if I'm wrong)

The dog with the keys went from working for Norrington, to Beckette, and now to Teague Sparrow.

Even Davy Jones can look really stupid at times.

In AWE Jack Sparrow didn't have a single drop of rum until the end of the movie.

Beckette likes playing with action figures of himself.

Pintel got dumber.


	3. Things I learned from PotC 1

I wrote these down as I watched the movie. Enjoy!

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You can break a candelabra by simply touching it.

Wearing paper plates on your head used to be fashionable amongst women.

Your hat will stay on if you're standing on top of a ship's mast, even in high wind.

British Naval officers can't take a hint when they see a strangely dressed sailor who tries to commandeer a ship.

Iron handcuffs can come off on one side then magically fix themselves.

When aiming at lead character naval officers have terrible aim.

It is possible to recognize a ship's guns.

If you have a canoe you won't float up when underwater.

You can commandeer a ship with two men.

You can sail a ship with two men.

You can sail a ship without anyone steering.

You can make a rope from back hair.

Knocking on a coconut tree will help you find rum.

Washing a ship with grease will increase evilness.

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Please review! I'll do DMC soon!


	4. Things I've Learned from PotC 2

Things I've learned from DMC that they won't teach you in schools...

You can get a horse on a rowboat.

Coffins make great rowboats.

Skeletal limbs double as oars.

Drawings of keys are much more better than keys themselves.

Even a rum bottle can foreshadow something.

You just can't hide from your First Mate.

Negotiation tends to be violent.

Stealing isn't bad if you're "salvaging".

Bone cages are rather thrifty.

Snakes enjoy slithering on the sides of cliffs.

If you have a jar of dirt everything gets all better. Or at least you think so.

Crab claws are magical.

Plants can't hide you very well after all.

Jars of dirt double as teddy bears.

It's _never_ a reef.

AWE will come out when I get the movie.


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